The Authentic Eclectic
How “Serving God” Unraveled into Sex Abuse, Child Neglect, and a Very Abnormal Normal
I was a naive teenager, desperate for belonging. But my “home” for 31 years turned out to be a house of horrors
I have written various stories about my life in relation to the years I spent in the Children of God, but I have yet to tell the story of my time in the cult. Here it is. This article was first published in Salon in 2015. I have edited and updated it here.
I left the Children of God (COG) in the early 2000s. It took a long time to come out of the haze of those 31 years, but when I did, I was appalled by my former self.
One of the most common questions people ask is: How could you be part of such a thing? And how could you stay? For years — as I came to grips with my guilt, remorse, and shame — I asked myself the same things.
Childhood
I grew up in suburban Washington, D.C., the youngest of seven children in a comfortably middle-class Catholic home. We must have looked like the perfect family.
My parents were leaders of the Charismatic group at their large church. Our house was clean — almost sterile. “Rake the rug after you…